New Additions to the Cast

Yesterday morning I was heading home after doing some things at the Shelter. I came around the curve just up the road from our house, and saw two black and white kittens trying to hide in the long grass just a foot or so off the asphalt. There aren’t any occupied houses in the area other than ours, so it was pretty clear pretty quickly what was up.

Sassafras & Hemlock

Sassafras & Hemlock

I know people dumping animals is common, but it still pisses me off. I mean, come on… getting a pet fixed is easy and it’s cheap. If you’re so stupid and lazy you can’t manage that simple task, then why would you take the natural result of your idiocy and dump it on the side of the road? Sack up and put them down yourself, or if you can’t handle that then take them to the pound and let them do it for you. Just dumping them somewhere is like the ultimate expression of chickenshit.

Generally I’m pretty content being an apatheist. The only thing that I hate about it is that it kind of precludes the existence of hell, and that’s too bad. Jackasses that dump kittens or puppies on the side of the road make me wish there was a hell, where they’d get to spend a long, long time being cold, miserable, alone, terrified, and starving to death.

So naturally I found myself trudging up the road to rescue the kittens. We’ve already got two cats and a dog, and I didn’t want anymore pets, but what are you going to do, you know? I’m an idiot (I think that’s been pretty well-established by this point) so I didn’t bother to take a bag or a box or gloves or anything. The result being that 15 minutes later I got back home with two snarling little hairballs of fury, and a nice collection of scratches.

For some odd reason I was nice to them anyway, and eventually they quit trying to rip my face off. Honestly, I think they’d been out there for a few days by the time I found them. Either that, or the shithead who dumped them had neglected them for awhile first, because they were in pretty bad shape. They were skin and bones, I couldn’t get them to eat anything, and they weren’t going to the bathroom. Those are generally pretty bad signs when it comes to young kittens, so I wasn’t real hopeful.

They cowered in the garage and slept all day yesterday, all night last night, and all day today. Then about 4 hours ago they woke up, stuffed their bellies like little tigers, and chased each other around for awhile. Then each of them took a big hefty shit under my desk and went back to sleep.

I reckon they’re going to make it, so I went ahead and named them. In the photo, that’s Sassafras in the front and Hemlock in the back. They spend a lot of time looking cute like that, which I guess is probably going to be a useful survival mechanism for them if they keep using my desk for an outhouse. Our other three pets are in maximum pout mode now of course, but I reckon they’ll get over it. I’ll keep you posted.



2 comments to New Additions to the Cast

  • Barbie

    You should have seen your wife’s “catniption” roflmao when she saw the picture.:) They are absolutely adorable and I am glad you had something to keep yourself occupied while Vicki visited. We had a cat that pooped under David’s reloading bench… maybe it is just a favorite place!! I can’t wait to meet the new additions!

  • What an excellent post with which to introduce yourself. I wandered to your web site thanks to a lovely photo of a female (or juvenile) Northern Cardinal that you gave to the Wiki Commons. Thank you for the photo, and for an excellent entry. If you haven’t met already, may I digitally introduce you to Kyle Cassidy, not only a great photographer and a fine human being, but a lover of all things kitteh? He would roundly applaud your rescue, and the sentiment that accompanied it.